Why You Need to Start Documenting Discrimination Early

When you initially see red flags of discrimination you have no way of knowing whether or not it will build into a pattern of discrimination that will eventually harm your career. 

In this post we'll cover:

• Why most people wait until it's too late to document

• How Red Flags Turn Into Discrimination

• Why Documentation Matters (and outcomes when you don't vs. when you do)

Why Most People Wait Until It's Too Late

Many employees want to wait and see if the red flags escalate into discrimination before they put in the time and effort. And I do understand why - it's a lot of work and you don't even know yet if it's discrimination. However, documenting when the discrimination starts or soon after is almost always the difference between an employee who can recover damages for financial harm if the discrimination escalates and someone who cannot.

Like you probably are now - I assumed that if it was actually discrimination, I’d know. In reality, I found myself second-guessing everything: Was I overreacting? Was I reading too much into things? Was I actually the problem?

In truth - If I hadn't had a best friend who knew how HR investigations worked, I wouldn't have done it either. And even then she had to insist before I listened. But I can tell you now that listening to her is the only reason I had:

• Protection during my fight 

• That my boss failed to push me out and was held accountable

• That I was able to get a lawyer

• That I'm still able to fight today

I know not everyone has a best friend in the HR field, so my goal is to be that annoying reminder in your ear that keeps insisting you document today so that you're protected tomorrow. 

How Red Flags Turn Into Discrimination

Your doubts about the red flags will likely increase once you escalate to senior leadership and HR, because this is often when the gaslighting begins. You can expect they will delay investigations and deny your claims while saying things like:

• You need to assume best intent

• Are you sure you didn't just misunderstand?

• You should stop taking things so personally

For me - every time I asked why I was being treated differently, I was either told my concern was the problem or given a vague, subjective explanation that didn’t make sense. 

And my experience isn’t unique. Workplace discrimination rarely begins with something obvious. It often starts with something minor like:

• An offhand joke that makes you uncomfortable, but no one else seems to mind.

• A decision that doesn’t sit right, but the reasoning is just plausible enough to make you question if you really just weren’t a good fit.

From there this behavior is repeated and targeted as it incrementally destroys your reputation and self-esteem in an effort to lower you to a position that the discriminator feels is more appropriate or eliminate you from the workplace entirely. 

Essentially - most employees spend months fighting discrimination before they even realize they’re fighting discrimination, so that by the time they realize what it is and can do something about it - they’re already exhausted and drained. 

This is why I recommend documenting the red flags as they happen. If you’re right and it is discrimination, certainty will come and you'll be thankful you have it. And if you’re not, delete everything and move on.

Remember - We’re not starting anything, we’re just keeping a record for our own sanity and protection – just in case we need it. 

Why Documentation Matters

Before you can protect yourself from discrimination, you have to recognize and accept that it’s happening which often that requires recognizing the pattern of harm.

The reason why? It is rare that discrimination is a single, overt act directly linked to harm - such as being fired and your boss telling you it's because you're pregnant. For most people, discrimination is experienced as a series of small, subtle actions that slowly build as a pattern of discrimination. Each incident on its own may seem minor or have a reasonable explanation, but over time, the repeated and targeted harm becomes clear. 

However proving a pattern of discrimination to someone who didn't live it isn't easy: you'll need to document every incident and capture each piece of evidence - no matter how small - to tell the story of what happened and how you know it's discrimination. 

To further explain, let's review the typical outcomes if you respond reactively vs. proactively

Reactive: Going to HR for Validation

If you go to HR looking for validation that your discrimination claims are valid you’re likely to end up like the many, many employees who complain that HR is only there to protect the company.

Because it’s true, they are - but that doesn’t mean protecting the company is the same as protecting your boss if they’re engaging in behavior that puts the company at risk.

So why does HR almost always side with leadership even as employees feel the discrimination is obvious? Most often - because the employee was uncertain themselves when they escalated and they went to HR unprepared, emotional and without compelling evidence that indicates an actual problem exists beyond their word. As a result HR investigates by conducting interviews and simply gives the person accused the benefit of the doubt due to a lack of clear evidence that indicates wrongdoing. 

Unfortunately for the employee - this means if their concerns were valid they are now left feeling even more unprotected against a boss who may now also begin retaliating. 

In short: It's never a good idea to go to HR to validate your discrimination concerns. You should only escalate when you're certain it is discrimination and you have the evidence to prove it.

Reactive: Staying Silent and Hoping It Gets Better

A person discriminating is unlikely to stop without interference. This means if an employee stays silent, the discrimination often escalates even as the employee puts increasing effort into fixing the situation or winning their boss over. In fact even as the employee is driving themselves mad trying to fix the situation, their boss is often working behind the scenes to push them out. 

The goal may initially be to make the employee miserable enough that they’ll leave on their own, but most leaders will move to damaging the employee’s reputation and pushing them out through termination if necessary. 

In short: Without any resistance, the discrimination is not going to stop. All your silence does is make it easier for them to push you out. 

Proactive: Building a Timeline and Escalating Strategically

There is only one way to protect yourself and that’s building a well-supported timeline that reveals what actually happened regardless of what lies your boss tells or what excuses they give.

In the best case scenario building this timeline gives you the validation you need to approach HR with certainty and the evidence you need to convince them that action is necessary. It is time consuming and emotionally draining, but it is also easier if you document as things happen and I can tell you from personal experience that it can lead to your boss being held accountable while you remain employed. 

However, even if that effort fails and HR doesn’t act, being proactive and building a timeline is necessary for holding the company legally accountable if you want to recover damages for the discrimination you experienced. Both lawyers and civil rights agencies will ask you to provide a timeline of the harm and any evidence you have. If you weren’t proactive and didn’t document you’re going to have a hard time getting a lawyer to represent you (at least on contingency) or getting the EEOC to rule in your favor for your claims. 

I do recognize that you may not want to pursue a legal fight and that’s understandable - not everyone does - but it should still be your choice to make and not just another option stolen from you because of discrimination. 

In short: The only protection available to you is the protection you provide for yourself by documenting. 

In Summary...

If you document when you see the red flags and before you're certain, you'll be protected just in case. And if it ends up not escalating to the discrimination you feared, you can simply delete the evidence and timeline without ever telling anyone you even had concerns. 

Just remember - erasing documentation is easy. Going back and capturing evidence you need after you're fired - not even possible. 

No one is asking you to do anything about what you document or capture right now. Right now you're just taking the steps to ensure all your options are available to you no matter what happens from here.